At the feet of Jesus

I keep wanting to write an exciting post, something not just relaying my day-to-day happenings and experiences. But the only time I feel the inspiration to journal is usually when I'm struggling emotionally. Have you ever felt like you just want to talk to someone, but when you pick up the phone you decide you really don't want to talk at all? That's how I often feel when thoughts of my dad play through my head. I know there are plenty of people that I could call and would listen to me talk and weep, but that just isn't very appealing to me.

Today has been an especially tiring, emotional day, but when I lay my head down to take a nap and close my eyes, the events of my dad's last days on earth just seem to play through my head. I can hear him talking and I can smell his house. I want to sleep because I think it will make me feel better. But then he comes into my dreams. He talks to me and tells me that he's alive. It's crazy, really, because I almost feel like it is real, like Jesus is just holding my hand, reminding me that my dad is ALIVE! He has true life now, life everlasting!

While my mom is a worshipper, I feel like I got my love of worship from my dad. He loved to praise Jesus. Even when times were tough, and for him, they were quite often. I just wonder how much more now he is loving being able to worship at the feet of Jesus... how amazing. I don't think he would want me to continue to weep, but he would want me to have joy. And I long for the joy of the Lord...