Falling Down the Stairs

Adelaide, 31 months. Charlie, 8 months.

Last week we had the biggest scare in our house. The gate had been left open at the top of the stairs and I heard Ben scream, "Charlie! No!" and then subsequent thuds down the stairs. I was downstairs at the time and ran quickly to pick up my little guy who was laying face down at the bottom of the stairs, crying hysterically. I gave him a quick once-over and examined for any obvious injuries to his sweet, chubby little body, but there were none to be found. No bleeding, no bruises, no swelling. Just lots of tears. Ben and I tried to calm him for several minutes but he didn't stop crying until we got him in the car (I was headed out at the time) and started driving. After we got to my brother's house and he was calm, I once again examined him and everything looked good. Ben called the doctor but they didn't think we needed to bring him in unless we had a concern. I thanked God for keeping my little guy safe. Ben and I were still shaken up when we got home that night and it really wasn't until the next morning that I think our nerves finally calmed down.

Charlie, 8 months

As I was reflecting on what had happened that morning, I could see this crystal clear picture of God as our Heavenly Father, at the top of the stairs. Sometimes as Christians we are like children and we try to do things on our own, or we think we know a better way. God is such a gracious Father and does what he can to protect us - even putting gates at the top of the staircases. But we still our left with our free will. And when that gate is left open, even for a minute, temptation comes and sometimes we choose not to resist. Our Father cries out to us, "Child! No!" and there is nothing more that He can do except watch us fall. But then, like the great parent He is, He is also waiting at the bottom of the stairs to pick us up in His arms.

Sometimes I wish I could surround my kids (especially accident-prone Charlie) in bubble wrap. I want to protect them from all of the evil and pain and hurt that is in our fallen world. Practically this is not possible, but more than that, it would not be good for them. Because we all have an opportunity with each obstacle of life. We can get back up, learn from it, grow, move on... or we can sulk, be a victim, blame others, live in the past. I pray that my kids will choose to learn from the heartaches they experience in life. I hate that Charlie had to fall down the stairs, but I do hope that he will learn from his fall. In time, he will be able to go down the stairs on his own just like Adelaide does. And he will trust that his parents are looking out for his best interest. And that his mum will be there to catch him as he falls.

Another World

I was bit by the bug.

The "Twilight" bug. About 10 days ago I rented the first Twilight movie from Netflix. I was never interested in the movies (and definitely not the books, because I am self-labeled "not a reader,") but after watching two other movies with the actor Robert Pattinson, (Water for Elephants and Remember Me) I was suddenly interested in Twilight.

So I added it to my queue. I mean, the guy was a good actor, and I never heard a bad review about the movie, so what would it hurt to watch the movie? I watched the two-hour long movie with Ben and at the end I found myself feeling... unsatisfied. I liked the movie, don't get me wrong. I just felt like there was something more behind it all. I wanted to know more about these characters and this peculiar love story. I posted on Facebook that I had just watched the movie and how much I liked it, and received a unanimous reply of "The books are better than the movies, read the books!". Ugh. I'm really NOT a reader, people.

I can read a book if I really find an interest in it. I mostly have a history of reading Christian books, typically for a Bible study I'm a part of. I read parenting books, usually in spurts, jumping from chapter to chapter as I see a topic of interest or pertinence. I really don't know the last fiction book I read, but I can probably guarantee it was while I was in high school and it was assigned to me. I always made good enough grades, but reading has never been high on my list of "leisure activities."

My dad and eldest brother, Jimmy, are foreign to me in this way. My dad must have owned a million fiction books, his bathroom and extra bedroom were filled with them. I had so many memories of my brother growing up reading at the table, always walking around the house with his nose stuck in a book. It never made sense to me. What was so interesting?

So my neighbor, Megan, told me she had the Twilight books if I wanted to borrow them. I picked the first one up from her last Sunday, after watching the second Twilight movie. I fell in love with the book - with the writing itself. I found myself having difficulty putting it down, even though it was past my regular 'bedtime.' Ben didn't see any problem with my new fascination with reading, just encouraged me to set goals for myself to get certain things done before I cracked open my book. Amazingly, I can see that nothing is being neglected around the house, and yet I have managed to read more than 1,000 pages in one week. It's a good feeling. I'm now a third of the way through the third book in the series, and don't really look forward to my reading coming to an end when I finish the fourth book, presumably in the next week or two.

I feel like I've been living in two worlds. My reality, the world I love so much, with my family and normal life. And then another world, a dark, funny, friendly, high-school crush world. It's fun to escape to this world for a few hours each day (mainly during nap time and after 7:30, once the kids are in bed at night).  It's painted beautifully, but still doesn't compare to my daily surroundings. I am pretty blessed that my real world is even better than any imaginary fairy tale could be.